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  I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first

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• Call your mom

  Submitted by coumtryboy99 on Aug 12, 10 at 2:30pm

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• Well if that girl REALLY wants to thank you maybe you wont need to fuck yourself so you can kill two birds with one penis-shaped stone..

  Submitted by TruthHurts on Aug 12, 10 at 2:54pm

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• Just take care of the grateful girl and fucking yourself. I'll take care of your mom.

  Submitted by maskedman on Aug 12, 10 at 11:13pm

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• Yup. Mom.

  Submitted by grizzlewhisker on Aug 12, 10 at 2:43pm

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• You should fuck yourself first.

  Submitted by delhi14 on Aug 12, 10 at 2:49pm

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• this is pretty much like a nick swardson joke, he ran into a friend after a night of partying and asked him how his night was and his friend said "i shit my pants, i broke up with my girlfriend and i punched my best friend in the face...i dont know what to take care of first"

  Submitted by allaliasestaken on Aug 12, 10 at 3:39pm

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  • That's exactly what I was gonna say Nick Swardson Rip off

    Submitted by missgreenjeans on Aug 12, 10 at 6:30pm

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• I'd wanna find out wtf I did to be thanked.

  Submitted by guitarmageddon on Aug 12, 10 at 2:28pm

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• Call mom

  Submitted by angila on Aug 15, 10 at 1:43pm

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• I submitted this! :)

  Submitted by 401L0v3 on Aug 12, 10 at 5:20pm

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• Dude call your fucking mum

  Submitted by sgtchickenfucker on Aug 12, 10 at 8:10pm

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• Hey I was in RI last weekend! Love it..

  Submitted by jojoboo1 on Aug 12, 10 at 6:50pm

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• This is from a girl not guy...it's from me. Also, not a Nick Swarsdon rip off, I don't know who that is

  Submitted by 401L0v3 on Aug 12, 10 at 9:42pm

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• YEAH RHODE ISLAND

  Submitted by abc101 on Aug 12, 10 at 5:33pm

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• Haahaaa....

  Submitted by jojoboo1 on Aug 12, 10 at 2:53pm

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• This is hilarious.

  Submitted by Anonyrnous on Aug 12, 10 at 2:23pm

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• Girl call the girl

  Submitted by bc13bitch on Aug 12, 10 at 4:36pm

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• Decisions, decisions...

  Submitted by WhySoSketchy on Aug 12, 10 at 9:06pm

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• Your mother of course

  Submitted by cmillss on Aug 13, 10 at 1:30am

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• Hmm. Happened to me the other day too.

  Submitted by anotherainyday on Aug 12, 10 at 2:58pm

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• def ripped off from nick swardson... and if you don't know who that is, then maybe you SHOULD go fuck yourself

  Submitted by bigej1984 on Aug 13, 10 at 11:40am

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• Girl. Fucking yourself. Mom.

  Submitted by cireretals on Jun 2, 11 at 7:35am

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• I think there's a good chance this might be from one of my brothers . . .

  Submitted by tanya321 on Aug 12, 10 at 8:44pm

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• The texts duh!

  Submitted by dersabom on Aug 13, 10 at 12:44am

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