I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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