That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
