mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i now understand why vodka
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
