I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
