He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
