i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel great
I just peed on a car
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize