So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
