Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
