no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
