He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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