I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
