What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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