How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He has the fingertips of a God
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
