Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
