You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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