elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
