but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
