I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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