Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
