I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
