I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I supernannyed him into submission
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
