Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
