weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
