Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
