I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
