Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What a dumb baby whore.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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