When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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