Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
