Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
