ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
