I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
