Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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