Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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