hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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