Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
