You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
