Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
