thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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