i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
