the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and she was petting her beer can
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
