party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
