My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
