Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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