why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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