My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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