just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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