Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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