Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
