Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
