also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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