u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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