Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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