VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
