Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
