she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just pee around me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
