Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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