I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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