yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
