she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
