There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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