I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
