How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
