On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
