I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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