I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
