did you get engaged???
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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