So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
