i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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