oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
