He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
