There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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