Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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