we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
