susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
